Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
