threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
