If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
