I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
