i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
