Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
