guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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