At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
