I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
