Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
