YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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