Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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