I wish I only lived at night.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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