Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Couch. On fire.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
