You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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