So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
