How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
