Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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