found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
