Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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