Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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