She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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