i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
