You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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