i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
