Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
