She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
