That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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