I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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