Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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