Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
