All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
