So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
