I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
one might say we're banned from that church
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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