dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
