Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
