was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
