dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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