WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
