I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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