and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
