Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
