dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
