I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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