He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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