I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
