bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
