my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
