I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
