just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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